to the girl who is single & feels behind in life

Ever since I was young, I dreamt of finding my prince charming.

The man who’d sweep me off my feet & who’d search the whole kingdom for me. He’d find my glass slipper & bring it back to me. Of course, it would fit perfectly. We’d get married, have beautiful children, & the rest is history. A girl can dream, right?

Well, let’s be honest for a moment. You and I - we probably won’t marry an actual prince. But, we do want our own happily ever after. However, to some of us- this seems almost impossible & we definitely don’t see it happening in the near future. 

This can be more than discouraging when it seems like everyone else around you is finding their prince charming.

So, to the girl who is single & feels behind in life…

I know - I see the pictures too. Dating, engaged, married, new house, babies. It can be disheartening at times. 

But let me tell you something - 

You are not behind in life. You are right where God wants you. He has a plan & a purpose for you - right now, where you are. Do not let another’s win become your loss. We must learn how to celebrate the successes & milestones of others without letting them diminish our value & purpose in the season we are currently in.

My advice for you:

1) Trust in God’s timing 

- God has a reason for where you are right now. God only has good intentions & good plans for your life. You are not missing out & God is not withholding from you. Trust in His plan & His purpose for your life.

2) Focus on your relationship with God 

- Maybe God has you in this season because you need to focus on your relationship with Him. The only way you will have a godly relationship with your significant other is if you have a solid foundation in your relationship with God first. Find your identity in Him and Him alone. 

3) Learn what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman & work towards it

- Learn how to be a godly wife BEFORE you are a wife. Pray & ask God to reveal the areas in your life where you need to improve in order to become the best future wife and mom you can be. Maybe you need to work on responsibility and selflessness. Work on building healthy habits, such as quiet time with the Lord and strong prayer life. Learn how to be a homemaker. You can learn how to cook, clean, or maybe even babysit so you can learn how to take care of babies & children. Learn how to love God, love people, & take care of people well. 

4) Date with purpose - learn what qualities to look for in a godly man

- If you cannot see yourself marrying a specific person - do not date them. Save yourself the heartbreak & don’t just date to date. When I say look for godly qualities in a man, I do not mean “blonde hair”, “blue eyes”, “tall”, or whatever you would describe his outward appearance to be. Proverbs 31:30 says that “beauty is fleeting”- so look for qualities that are not fleeting. This is someone who seeks a relationship with the Lord first, who is good with kids, who serves in the church, who bears the fruit of the spirit, who will protect you & your future children, who will push you to holiness & growth in the Lord, who protects your purity, etc. Once you know what to look for in a husband, it will be easier to spot red flags in the men to whom you should politely say “good riddance”. 

5) Serve. Serve. Serve.

- Use this time to serve. The passion project that has been weighing heavy on your heart? Start it. You’ve wanted to go on a mission trip? Go. You’ve felt led to volunteer at a local church? Do it. This is your time to dive into the passions that God has laid on your heart. Do not just sit and binge Netflix while you wait for the future seasons in your life. Wait actively & wait with purpose. Learn. Grow. Serve.

6) Be okay with being single

- Ouch. This one kind of stings. However, I truly believe that one of the most important ways you can recognize if you are ready to be in a relationship is by determining if you are okay without one. We are meant to be dependent on God & God only. If you are seeking a relationship with a person more than you are seeking a relationship with the Lord then you are not ready. If you are seeking fulfillment or happiness solely from a relationship with a man - you are setting yourself, the other person, & your relationship up for failure. You are seeking something from a man that you can only get from God. Therefore, you are expecting a man to fill a void in your heart that only God can fill. If you are not satisfied in your relationship with God, you will never be satisfied in a relationship with a man. 

Trust me - the godly man you want to marry will be looking for these qualities in you. The men you should be staying away from will be looking at outward appearances & women of the world. So DO NOT be discouraged when these worldly men look past you!! You are not doing something wrong & you should never settle or change. The right man will come along & cherish these qualities about you - not look past them.

I’d love to say that I have mastered this. But the truth is, I am still learning to intentionally & purposefully live out these truths every day. It takes time, prayer, & consistency - but this is something that is possible! Work on your relationship with God first. Run full speed towards God & the purpose He has for you. And Lord willing - someday, you will look over & there will be a man of God running right beside you - living a life dedicated to the mission of the gospel. That is when you will know that you have found your prince charming.

Prayer for your heart in singleness - 

“God, you alone complete me. You alone satisfy my needs. You alone fulfill me. Lord, help me to know & believe this. You know the desires of my heart, but if they don’t align with the plan & desires you have for me - please change my heart to align with yours. Remove any idols that I may have in my life. If I am idolizing the idea of a relationship, & it’s causing me to idolize people - please help me to focus on my relationship with you instead. Help me to value my relationship with you above everything else in this world. If a husband is in your plan for me, please help me to become the godly woman who will help lead our family towards you. Heal me, shape me, & help me grow into a proverbs 31 woman. Help him to become the goldy man who can lead our family with strength, wisdom, and gentleness. Lord, I ask that if you are calling me to a life of singleness that you would change my heart & my desires so that I can fulfill the purpose you have for me. Help me to be completely satisfied in my relationship with you alone. Lord, I trust you, love you, & believe in your complete sovereignty. In Jesus’ precious & holy name, Amen.”

Love you all & praying that this encourages you today!

<3 Maggie